The crowd was shamed and one by one began to turn away. All of a sudden, a lovely little woman made her way through the crowd. Finally getting to the front, she tossed a pebble towards the woman.
Jesus looks over and says, "I really hate it when you do that, Mom."
The Pope goes to New York. He is picked up at the airport by a limousine. He looks at the beautiful car and says to the driver, "You know, I hardly ever get to drive. Would you please let me?"
The driver is understandably hesistant and says, "I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm supposed to do that."
But the Pope persists, "Please?" The driver finally lets up. "Oh, all right, I can't really say no to the Pope."
So the Pope takes the wheel, and boy, is he a speed demon! He hits the gas and goes around 100 mph in a 45 zone. A policeman notices and pulls him over.
The cop walks up and asks the Pope to roll down the window. Startled and surprised, the young officer asks the Pope to wait a minute. He goes back to his patrol car and radios the chief.
Cop: Chief, I have a problem.
Chief: What sort of problem?
Cop: Well, you see, I pulled over this guy for driving way over the speed limit but it's someone really important.
Chief: Important like the mayor?
Cop: No, no, much more important than that.
Chief: Important like the governor?
Cop: Wayyyyyy more important than that.
Chief: Like the president?
Cop: More.
Chief: Who's more important than the president?
Cop: I don't know, but he's got the Pope driving for him!
The driver is understandably hesistant and says, "I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm supposed to do that."
But the Pope persists, "Please?" The driver finally lets up. "Oh, all right, I can't really say no to the Pope."
So the Pope takes the wheel, and boy, is he a speed demon! He hits the gas and goes around 100 mph in a 45 zone. A policeman notices and pulls him over.
The cop walks up and asks the Pope to roll down the window. Startled and surprised, the young officer asks the Pope to wait a minute. He goes back to his patrol car and radios the chief.
Cop: Chief, I have a problem.
Chief: What sort of problem?
Cop: Well, you see, I pulled over this guy for driving way over the speed limit but it's someone really important.
Chief: Important like the mayor?
Cop: No, no, much more important than that.
Chief: Important like the governor?
Cop: Wayyyyyy more important than that.
Chief: Like the president?
Cop: More.
Chief: Who's more important than the president?
Cop: I don't know, but he's got the Pope driving for him!
Finally, I have heard this one before ...
Cardinal Ratzinger goes running into the Holy Father's office and is quite beside himself. "Holy Father, Holy Father!"
"What is it my son?" the pope responds.
"I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first? "
"The good news", responds the Holy Father.
The Cardinal says "OK. The good news is that the Lord Jesus has returned as He promised!"
"Alleluia, Alleluia. Praise be to God!", the Holy Father responds "So what's the bad news? "
Ratzinger responds "He in Salt Lake City."
"What is it my son?" the pope responds.
"I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first? "
"The good news", responds the Holy Father.
The Cardinal says "OK. The good news is that the Lord Jesus has returned as He promised!"
"Alleluia, Alleluia. Praise be to God!", the Holy Father responds "So what's the bad news? "
Ratzinger responds "He in Salt Lake City."
