Sunday, May 18, 2014

The only way to eat Fig Newtons

The only way to eat Fig Newtons:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBko_3wT44Q


You'll know Toto when you hear it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9F86cAoi3o

 

Fwd: WHY CONDOMS COME IN BOXES OF 3, 6, AND 12

Slightly naughty joke that is funny ...

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk
by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms son;
men use them to have safe sex."
 
"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. Yes, I've heard of that in health
class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are
there 3 in this package?"
 
The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one for
Saturday, and one for Sunday."
 
"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"
 
"Those are for college men," the dad answers, TWO for Friday, TWO for
Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."
 
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12
pack. With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied,
 
"Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for
March......."
 

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Fwd: A moral/ethical question




­­
A Moral/Ethical Question ???

You are driving down the road in your Corvette on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

2. An old friend who once saved your life.

3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car? Think before you continue reading.

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application. You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first. Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS.....................

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered: 'I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.'

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations.

Never forget to 'Think Outside of the Box.'

HOWEVER...., The correct answer is to run the old lady over and put her out of her misery because Obama's health care won't pay for her hospital visit anyway, have sex with the perfect partner on the hood of the car, then drive off with the old friend for a few beers.

I just love happy endings!


Thursday, May 8, 2014

Fwd: automation using computer software


automation