Fwd: Fridays

Fwd: Holiday Tip

MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

With the holidays upon us I would like to share a personal experience with you all about drinking and driving after a "social event"with friends.
 
A few weeks ago, I was out on a post-Thanksgiving evening with several friends. I had a few cocktails, followed by several glasses of wine. Despite my jolliness, I still had the sense to know that I was over the limit. That's  when I decided to do what I have never done before: I took a cab  home.
 
Sure enough, there was a police road block on the highway but, since it was a cab, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident.
 
This was a both a great relief and surprise because I had never driven a cab before. I don't even know where I got it from and, now that it is in my garage, I don't know what to do with it.

Be safe out there.

--
Best wishes,

John Coffey

http://www.entertainmentjourney.com

Re: Particle accelerator

I heard a CERN scientist say that they accelerate particles to have the same kinetic energy as a freight train.  I don't know if he meant that literally or figuratively, because that is a lot of energy for a particle. 

Now if you could only make a gun that could do that...

On Dec 9, 2014, at 8:52 AM, <larry.r.trout> wrote:

'Scientists have found a way to accelerate subatomic particles to an energy gradient 1,000 times that of the massive Large Hadron Collider at CERN — all with a device that would fit on a tabletop.

The U.S. Department of Energy's Lawrence Berkely National Lab used a specialized petawatt laser and plasma to speed up the particles. Known as a laser-plasma accelerator, it allows physicists to shrink the standard accelerator, which in the case of CERN is miles long, to much more compact machines, according to Gizmag.

Scientists shot plasma with a laser and produced energy of 4.25 giga-electron volts. The Large Hadron Collider, which is 17 miles in circumference and uses a series of modulated electromagnetic fields, can only achieve 100 mega-electron volts per meter before the energy starts to threaten the metal structure that holds it together.

The device put together by the Berkeley Lab is just a plasma tube that is 3.5 inches long, achieving a speed that would typically take many miles for a standard particle accelerator.

There is a catch, however: The approach of laser-plasma accelerators is entirely different, and used one of the most powerful lasers in the world, the Berkeley Lab Laser Accelerator (BELLA), which produced a beam of light that equates to a quadrillion watts of power, or a petawatt. Researchers focused the laser on the small tube that contained the plasma.

The team was able to focus the laser beam into a 500 micro hole from a distance of 14 meters, which produced huge waves of rolling energy that accelerated free electrons in the plasma, similar to how a surfer increases its speed while going down the face of a wave, according to the report.'

http://thespacereporter.com/2014/12/tabletop-sized-particle-accelerator-blows-away-large-hardron-collider-in-recent-test/

 

 

Obama vs Bush

Pooh bear

Santa

Size

21 Things Your Mum Can Never Prepare You For

http://emgn.com/entertainment/21-things-your-mum-can-never-prepare-you-for/

Chris Rock Monologue - Saturday Night Live

Check out this video on YouTube:

http://youtu.be/gYZLKqGhSZs

How's He Doing with Chris Rock - Saturday Night Live

Check out this video on YouTube:

http://youtu.be/1VqgTdUFtq8

ROBIN WILLIAMS: greatest comic ever

Check out this video on YouTube:

http://youtu.be/Z6ZrNS_HwOQ

Kevin Spacey amazing imitation

Kevin Spacey amazing imitation

Eddie Murphy's Stand Up Comedy Routine (FULL), First Appearance on Johnny Carson Show

Eddie Murphy's Stand Up Comedy Routine (FULL), First Appearance on Johnny Carson Show

Goldie Hawn

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDF6FA_iM7E

A long time ago I had seen Goldie Hawn do the first 3 minutes of this act before.  The big punch line comes 3 minutes into it.

Red Skelton--What's My Line? - Funny

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCE3dKEbBDI

Fwd: FW: Post Office.............

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.

One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address.


He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read


Dear God,

I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment.
Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner.
Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope...
Can you please help me?



Sincerely, Edna



The postal worker was touched.
He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars.
By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.
The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went.
A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God.
All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.

It read:
Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?
Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends.
We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
By the way, there was $4 missing.
I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.

Sincerely, Edna

Marines

Monday

​

Look

Couch potato

Sith

Two And A half men - Best Moment Ever Jake

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCoEbsxeJws

The only way to eat Fig Newtons

The only way to eat Fig Newtons:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBko_3wT44Q

You'll know Toto when you hear it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9F86cAoi3o

 

Fwd: WHY CONDOMS COME IN BOXES OF 3, 6, AND 12

Slightly naughty joke that is funny ...

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk

by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?

To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms son;

men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. Yes, I've heard of that in health

class at school."

He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are

there 3 in this package?"

The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one for

Saturday, and one for Sunday."

"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"

"Those are for college men," the dad answers, TWO for Friday, TWO for

Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12

pack. With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied,

"Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for

March......."

Fwd: A moral/ethical question

---

­­ A Moral/Ethical Question ??? You are driving down the road in your Corvette on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2. An old friend who once saved your life. 3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about. Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car? Think before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application. You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first. Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again. YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS..................... The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered: 'I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.' Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to 'Think Outside of the Box.' HOWEVER...., The correct answer is to run the old lady over and put her out of her misery because Obama's health care won't pay for her hospital visit anyway, have sex with the perfect partner on the hood of the car, then drive off with the old friend for a few beers. I just love happy endings!

Jeff Foxworthy -Medicine Side Effects

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSdNMRtvq5g&feature=youtube_gdata

Fwd: automation using computer software

automation

 

 

What's My Line? Lucille Ball (1954)

Funny!!!!!

Check out this video on YouTube:

http://youtu.be/FiUPVQAmWLI

Elizabeth Taylor on What's My Line?

Funny!

Check out this video on YouTube:

http://youtu.be/1gR-vU44gd4

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Call | Diet Mountain Dew Commercial

Check out this video on YouTube:

http://youtu.be/QNh18bRw_0k

Bacon

Ever wake up in the wrong bed

After work

Why

Me on Fridays

Follow The Rules

Check out this video on YouTube:

http://youtu.be/l5l0PD80u9k

RE: Anti-depressants

I love it.  J

Best wishes,

John Coffey

From: Fitch, Dana

 

Having one of those days?

 

 

 

Subject: Anti-depressants

 

Best to maximize on your screen.

 

 

 

Cold Car?

AHH!  The good old days??????????? Before I complain the next time I get into that COLD car l'll try to remember what it was like for my grandparents and their contemporaries.