Evolution, Theory of

KISS

French Fries

iPhone in 1000 years. Futurama parody.

Check out this video on YouTube:

http://youtu.be/iouxiyB4qgw

Stop Global Warming

Lewis Black - Black on Broadway (Full Version)

Give this guy 15 minutes...

Check out this video on YouTube:

http://youtu.be/BUBEuGa1_HA

Fwd: Great idea!

 

 

 

 

FW: This years AIR SHOW

 

FW: MURPHY'S 15 OTHER LAWS

MURPHY'S 15 OTHER LAWS

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from California would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

14. God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.

15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people, who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

---

Fwd: Marriage at an Elderly Age

 

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:

'Are you the owner?' The pharmacist answers yes.

Says Jacob: 'We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?'

Pharmacist: 'Of course we do.'

Jacob: 'How about medicine for circulation?'Pharmacist: 'All kinds.'

Jacob: 'Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? '

Pharmacist: 'Definitely.'

Jacob: 'How about Viagra?'

Pharmacist: 'Of course.'

Jacob: 'Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?'

Pharmacist: 'Yes, a large variety. The works.'

Jacob: 'What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?'

Pharmacist: 'Absolutely.'

Jacob: 'You sell wheelchairs and walkers?'

Pharmacist: 'All speeds and sizes.'

Jacob says to the pharmacist: 'We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts, please.'

 

 

The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink, and somebody to love you.

Bob...The Hamster. This is funny.

 

---

I think whoever wrote this script has been to Thailand.

It's great!

The punchline comes after the credits start.

You will have to hit the play button.

 

Al

 

Click below to  start   Bob ~ The  Hamster   Don't forget your  sound

Oh, I wish

Cat

Dog logic

60 Cantaloupes

Fwd: The Day

Begin forwarded message:

From: Al

The day that Albert Einstein feared has finally arrived! Having coffee with friends. A day at the beach. Cheering on your team. Having dinner out with your friends. Out on an intimate date. Having a conversation with your BFF A visit to the museum Enjoying the sights     That day has sadly arrived.

Admit it.   If you don't have an iPhone, you want one. 

Actually, that seems funny to me

http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2013/01/11/seth-macfarlane-addresses-hitler-joke/1827509/

 

Mattress

Fwd: The Trip to Italy

Trip  to Italy       A  young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to  end her life by throwing  herself   into  the ocean, but just before she could throw herself from  the docks, a handsome young man stopped her. "You  have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor,  and we are off to Italy tomorrow. I can stow you    away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."   With nothing to  lose, combined with the fact that she had always  wanted to go to Italy , the woman accepted.    That  night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold.  From   then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches,  a bottle of red wine, and make love to her  until   dawn.  Three weeks later she was discovered by the  captain during a routine  inspection.   "What are you doing here?"  asked the captain. "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me food and I get a free trip to Italy ." "I see," the captain says. Her conscience got the best of her and she added, "plus, he's screwing me." "He certainly is,"  replied the captain. "This is the Staten Island Ferry."

Broken

Dog

Door

Dogs

Fwd: Daddy "How was I born"?

IF YOU DON'T LAUGH AT THIS ONE YOU ARE IN NEED OF SERIOUS MEDICAL HELP!!!...Clever AND funny... Daddy, how was I born? A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?' The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: Scroll down...You'll love this .... * * * * You got Male!

Cat Logic

T-shirt

FW: Loving Your Job?

 

 

 

Darth

Pooh

Police Dog

Sent from my iPhone